Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
