I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
