I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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