Don't make out with my wife yet
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
