the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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