i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize