I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Boobs are out for the taking
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
