Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
