My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize