so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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