maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My vagina is very pro this idea
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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