I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We are two peas in an std pod
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize