I'd wear matching sweaters with you
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
