I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
