Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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