you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
