You're my little dorito
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
