What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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