Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am naked and annoyed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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