At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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