so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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