My cat gives me a boner
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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