does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im six kinds of drunk right now
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm at about main and main street
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
