I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
