Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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