i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
