You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
