I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
