You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
