You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
