Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I see more hoeing in ur future
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
