your thong is hanging out like whoa
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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