I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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