so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
