like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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