the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
