oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We named our party play list daddy issues
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
