I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
