remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
