I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
