I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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