There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize