Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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