I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
