hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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