So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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