I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
