I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
