I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
