my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
