Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This is the high leading the old right now
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
