went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
