JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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