3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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