I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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