I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize