So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
