Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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