If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
