So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
fuck your aforementioned shoe
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
