Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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